Jess and Derek’s not-so-secret, goatless, send-off

Place: Central Park.
Date: July 19th.
Time: whenever.
We’ll be there all day (~10 am til about 7 PM).
Why? We’re leaving you for Nairobi.

This is where things will go down:

1. Find your way to Central Park West and 77th street, around where the Natural History Museum is. There’s a B or C subway stop nearby. There’s a gate into central park at this intersection. It’s actually called the Naturalist’s Gate if you bother to read the plaque.

77th and central park west

2. Walk through this stoney Naturalists Gate. You’ll be walking across a bridge. If you look to your left, you might see us under this distant tree in the shady grass:


3. If you yell something about a goat, you might get our attention. But you’re not there yet. Keep walking across the bridge and veer left down a smaller path. You’ll pass between these pillars:

pillars of Nairobi

4. These are the pillars of Nairobi. You must leave behind all negative thoughts of NYC before passing through. Only happy reminiscings of Gotham will be shared on the other side of these pillars… NOT! After the pillars you’ll go down a steep path. This hill sucks at the end of a long run. You’ll see a bridge at the bottom of the hill. You’ll be tempted to cross this bridge as it is very quaint. This is actually my favorite spot in all of the park. There’s a creek running under the bridge, and a tree on the other side that is fun to climb. But I repeat: do not cross the bridge. Stay left. Continue on. When you emerge from the thicket, you’ll see a patch of grass on your right. And a big shady tree. We’ll be under this tree or somewhere nearby.

where we\'ll be

5. In the picture above there’s people hanging out under the tree. That’s probably what we will look like. If we’re not there and it’s raining, then look to your left. Maybe we are trolls hiding under this bridge. If it is not raining and you are going under this bridge then you are lost. Turn back.

Maybe we’ll be hiding or lurking around elsewhere nearby, who knows. We wouldn’t want to make it too easy to find us. If you need a hint, then call 646-322-2141. If we haven’t disconnected our phones by then.

Oh, it’s a potluck. Bring whatever snacks you enjoy. And it’s BYOB at your own discretion. Technically it’s unlawful to drink alcohol in the park, but we’re not telling. And BYO soccer balls, frisbees, juggling torches, unicycles, etc. Please do not wear a unitard. There will be no goats at this event, unless you happen to bring one, in which case you will be loved as much as the goat. Please bring your dog though, we can pretend it’s a goat. If you bring your cat there’s cool trees for it to climb around in nearby. Most importantly, just bring your self. Hope to see you there!


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